You have blamed yourself for the headache tablet you took in 1983 for your child’s autism.
You know what pre-MELTstrual is without having it explained. (The internal horrors you feel just before a meltdown for no-ASD’ers).
You can sleep in past your alarm (rare very rare) and still have your child in a taxi with 5 minutes to spare because by christ they are going to school.
You wished there was a beige aisle in the supermarket.
You wished supermarkets had never been invented.
You save fortunes on eating out but spend it on kinder eggs and toy cars.
You have the discarded chocolate shells of at least 10 kinder eggs in the back seat of your car at any given moment accompanied by all of the crappy toys unassembled.
You cry in the no beige supermarket when they change the packaging on the 3 things that they actually eat.
You can sweep a room faster than Jason Bourne for breakables and escape routes.
You can run faster than Zola Budd with no shoes on.
You know what is on telly at any given hour between 1am and 7am.
You hate everyone.
Your bins get out more than you.
You eye roll facebook status’s about friend’s neurotypical children yet want the world to celebrate because yours touched a carrot.