I was really hoping I didn’t get any hands on experience with this one sadly that’s not to be. Lots of people aren’t familiar with the term smearing. Smearing is the word used to describe the act of spreading ones poo on walls, TVs, curtains, siblings, self etc. 
Reilly has done this over the last few days several times and I don’t like it. Not only does he smell like a sewer despite scrubbing him. We keep being treat to these pop up shop art galleries on entering certain rooms. Last night for example my oldest son Alex came downstairs and said mam I can smell poo but I can’t see it! Ghost poo? I joined the search party which was mainly centred on the bathroom, nothing. Out the bathroom moving around like a sniffer dog. Nothing. Later while sitting having a wee I see out the corner of my eye a distortion on my brown bathroom tiles, a 3D effect. Camouflage poo. Hiding amongst the grout and ceramics. Urgh. 
Today I was making a cup of tea and Reilly was watching Thomas upstairs. It’s only 2 minutes what could go wrong. Reilly taking up a plastering apprenticeship with poo that’s what. He’s like a human cement mixer. 70s artex swirls, if it were cadburys it would be beautiful, but it’s not. 


It’s could be sensory. Lots of autistic children do this. They like the feel, the smell even. With Reilly he likes to touch it and then instead of washing his hands he’s redecorating my bathroom and MY bedroom. So today we’ve been stuck like glue. I’m hoping this passes really quickly. For now my tactics will be keep one eye on him at all times and be extra aware of cues he needs the loo, restrict access – onesie in the house fastened at the back. Spray some play doh with fart spray from joke shop? I know I’m clutching at straws.  

I’m trying to make light of an awful situation. All I’ve heard for 48 hours is urggghhhhh from different members of my household but it’s me armed with bleach spray and wipes and the smell lodged in my nostrils. Reilly on the other hand could give a ….

Driving theory test will be like a mini spa break away from this mad house. 

Day one school holidays down. Reilly 1 – Christine 0.