Today has broken me.

It started with Reilly grabbing my keys and darting straight across the road and into my poor neighbours house. Me looking like I was a couple of days early for Halloween traipsed across to get him back. Easier said than done. He loves Elaine’s house and I think he’d happily stay there all day if I let him. I coaxed him out with the promise of going bouncing, I’m guaranteed to get him moving with that and it worked.


We get to Airbox and he’s pinging about as per happy as Larry and decides to go upstairs for a drink, this is fine it’s part of our thing. This time though he gets his eye on a family, the little girls are eating chicken nuggets and he makes it known he’d like the same. So far so good. I get our drinks, order the food and then I do it and I know he’s seen me and it’s too late. What had I done? I put my card in the machine at the till. I take it out, we cancel the sale so he can do it. No Christine that’s not how it works he does it first or he’s raising the roof and by god he did it well.
The staff as always phenomenal, some of the other parents not so much. Ellis starts to cry at what’s happening and is aware of other people giving us the look to which I proclaim loudly that I couldn’t give a flyer who is looking at Reilly they need to look at themselves. He tries to throw the little girls plate with her chicken nuggets on, I apologise profusely, they get it, they are cool thankfully and Reilly just well screams. I get on my knees on his level pretty calm considering but he’s having none of it.

His food appears and he calms down we finish off and leave. We get home and he wants to go in my neighbours house again and I spend half an hour outside fielding him from running across the road better than a GK in netball.
We’re in but he wants out. He tries various escape routes checks windows, doors etc and proceeds to nut my front door in hopes of creating a new way out. This I can’t deal with. It makes me anxious, breaks my heart and teeters me on the edge of a panic attack. We use distraction, put on DVDs, tell him Santas watching clutching at straws, I physically move him as I’m terrified that he will seriously hurt himself. He actually shakes and teeth chatter in this state. It goes on way longer than I anticipate and my morale is sagging like my trousers that Tarly is attached to pulling with his teeth, playing but making my steam rise that little bit higher!
The rest of the day has been spent up and down like this. He managed to get out in full minions get up darted past Ellis when returning from his dog walk, straight across the road, in the house and upstairs into bed. More coaxing and eventually I had to bite the bullet, grab him and run.
He spent the next 20 mins in his minions onesie and my knee high boots in my garden like a new feral superhero who I christened ‘The Wader’ as that’s what my boots looked like and I have to laugh.
I have never been so grateful for melatonin time tonight. Plates have frisbeed, drinks thrown and Just before coming upstairs with him I went for his drink as always I came back into the living room and he was emptying my Hoover cylinder onto my dining room table. Just what I wanted.

An Alvin and the Chipmunks The Squeakwel later watched from a makeshift bed on top of his drawers for some reason, I’m not arguing he’s still and he’s quiet and I needed that.

He’s asleep beside me now, he looks like he was heaven sent. Everytime I try and move to get my cuppa he pulls me back so our noses are touching and I love it. I love the bones of this kid but by Christ I’m glad to see the back of this day.  Today can kiss it.