Normally on back to school eve I can be heard singing “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”.  Not tonight however.  I’m a mixed bag of emotions.  First day back at school for me this year is huge.  Not only is Reilly changing schools he also changes drivers and escort.  For a little fella with autism this is massive.

I feel scared, nervous, excited, free, miserable, happy and tired all in one.  I won’t sleep tonight even if Reilly does.  There will be thousands of us the same.  We’ve had the PECS out showing Reilly back to school, the new uniform is out, his new coat has been casually hanging about the house so he’s used to it ready for tomorrow.  School shoes exactly the same as last terms but 1 size bigger.  School bag exactly the same. Thomas and Friends.

He hasn’t met his driver or escort to say i’m unhappy about this is a massive understatement.  Will he get in the car tomorrow? who knows. My email has gone off to the council none the less and will probably turn into a blog post all of it’s own as school transport is a huge issue for me.  Every driver and escort should be introduced to the parents and child before first day of school.  Do they have autism awareness and experience?  I don’t know but if I’m not happy tomorrow he won’t be getting in.

Will he hate it? Will he cope?  I don’t know he can’t talk. Imagine that.

Just awful.  I remember feeling like this on his first day of school last year and it worked out just fine so i’m keeping everything crossed he transitions well.  I’m prepared for a rollercoaster regardless.

If you see a new school ‘Mombie’ tomorrow, you’ll recognise them look like death through lasck of sleep, black eyes, hair unbrushed, constantly checking their phone and paying no attention whatsoever to anything you have to say. Spare them a thought, go easy on them at work, make them a cuppa and be kind.  It’s harder than you think.

And good luck to all the fabulous SEN teachers and assistants who do such a tremendous job.

I wrote a little poem to lighten my mood after having a good cry at The Good Dinosaur tonight.  I know – pathetic.