It’s my birthday I’m 46 and feel 90!! It’s bittersweet for reasons many of our friends will know. ❤️

Shane took a day off work so we could grab a few hours together child free. Trip to the metro centre for some new make up, god knows I need it and some Lebanese food. Perfect.

Home just in time for the kids arriving home. Reilly as per usual throws his car keys at me which means let’s go mother and I always oblige. I asked him where he wanted to go and usually he would grab my phone and type it in. It’s usually in no particular order Airbox, Burger King, Spar, skatepark or Ace Playce. I need season passes for all of them. This was his reply today ….

Now what can I say about this. I drove away feeling incredibly emotional. I’m always told accept him as he is. I do but god I want to talk to him. There’s a pit in my stomach that aches to have a conversation with him.

What would we talk about? His enormous hate for undercrackers? Why he puts his chin in my eye socket when he’s trying to fall asleep? Why does he headbutt the wall when we try and wash his hair and slam his knees onto the bathroom tiles with such force it cracks them? What is he thinking about when he roars in spontaneous laughter? What’s his favourite song? Why always vanilla with a flake? Why is the food always beige? Why the back seat on the right hand side? Why’s he terrified of The Lion King? What’s his favourite colour? Does he like school? Why I can’t drink a cup of tea? Why he’s never cold or the attraction of the sea? The list is infinitive. There will never be a question that doesn’t need an answer.

Today I saw progress and I felt hope. I’m happy. Today is a good day ❤️