Reilly turned 12 on Saturday and it was the strangest birthday yet. In the couple of weeks run up to his birthday he would type or speak constantly “No birthday” “No cards” “No presents” “No cake” “No twelve”.

Many times in the past I have ignored him and still gone ahead and bought banners, balloons, cake, presents etc. The last cake ended up in the back garden along with the banners he promptly pulled down.

This year I decided to honour exactly what he was asking for. It near killed me. I think sometimes we often push our own needs and wants onto our kids because it makes us feel better. I know I certainly have in the past and I am going to work harder to just let Reilly be who he wants to be. He is clearly communicating his needs who am I to ignore them.

My Mam found it particularly difficult. “How can I not get him a card!” but in the grand scheme of things is that really that important. It’s really not.

So I spent the day with him doing normal things like going to KFC and playing on Roblox and then left to stay with my friends up at the hot tub lodge in Morpeth that we go to for an escape every now and again. Priceless at the moment as it was a great chance to fill them all in on the absolute debacle that my life is just now. It’s good to talk with your besties.

Once all the girls left on Sunday Reilly, his brother and his Dad came up for a few hours and me and Reilly stayed overnight. Shane brought shorts pyjama bottoms and this is absolutely not allowed at 3.10 I emergency dashed to M & S in Morpeth for some long pyjamas of his choosing. Nice camo ones which he then refused to wear the top with and paired it with his 3 years old spiderman top with one arm cut off and holes in the elbow of its sleeve that remains. He went to sleep at 7.30am (Shane forgot his melatonin so I knew I was in for it) and checkout was 10am. I got stung by a wasp just before I left and had 5 minutes of sheer hell waiting for some type of anaphylaxis to kick in. (I’m allergic to everything so wouldn’t have been a surprise) even considered running next door to tell them to look after Reilly if I popped my clogs.

Never a dull moment.

Happy Birthday little man.

You have inspired and helped thousands and are so much loved.