It feels like the end of one of the longest, bumpiest, exhausting chapters of our lives.

Our school journey has indeed been a bumpy one right from day one at nursery. We knew mainstream nursery wouldn’t work before he started, within five minutes they knew wasn’t going to work either, sitting nice on the carpet drinking milk and eating a bit of fruit is absolutely not up Reilly’s street! and from that moment on it was never settled. We were told to try mainstream, make him fail to try prove a point and access some help. We tried SEN which was great for a tiny amount of time, it didnt come easy though, it came after a huge fight and some threats, for us to actually find a space. We tried everything we could hoping each new option would finally be the one that felt safe and right for him.

Having a child with school based anxiety is something you can never truly understand unless you live it. It doesn’t just affect school hours, it affects every part of your life. Nights are filled with no sleep and your child seeking promises that they dont have to go, the mornings filled with tears, panic, self harm and destruction. The constant worry. The exhaustion. The feeling of being hopeless when all you want is for your child to feel okay.

There were days it took every ounce of strength just to get through. Days we questioned ourselves, felt judged and wondered if we were failing him.

Shane even had to give up his own business just to be available to help me get Reilly to school, school transport broke down and driving him alone became dangerous. Everything in our lives revolved around trying to support our little boy through something that felt so overwhelming for him and at some point you have to just stop and really look at what is best for your family. We have followed Reillys lead for years. He decided to try with school again after a year out, his school helped us with that and we tried, it just doesnt work and thats ok for us.

And now that chapter is finally over. Here’s to calmer days. To quote Reillys most used sentence ‘no more school’.

Thankyou to all the incredible SEN teachers, TA’s and staff who have genuinely been like angels along the way.