What a revolting week. I would normally add a witty comment in here about the kids being off and driving me insane but we’ve got bigger fish to fry.  I promised myself that my blog would never be a political outlet – I would undoubtedly lose readers  but this blog is about life with Reilly and how autism affects us and unfortunately the upcoming election affects me greatly so I’ll keep it short.

In the past, years ago I really didn’t give a flying f@ck who was Prime Minister.  I had a job, a house, a car and  I was ok.  I was ok.  This continued on into having Alex 20 years ago. No problems with his schooling, he went to the school I wanted him to and life just tootled along. Nothing to see here.

My life doesn’t tootle anymore.  Things that have come easy in the past now do not.

We all know my greatest fear in life is not being here for my children, everyone has that fear right? But now imagine your child may never talk, may never work, may never live independently? How greater does that fear become?  It’s unbearable, uncomfortable and keeps me awake every night.

Now let’s add to this the odds that Reilly will suffer from depression, anxiety and get bullied are stacked against him.  He will need support, I will support him but he may need more than that and what if I am not here? The mental health services are in crisis and waiting lists are too long.  Does this fill me with hope for the future, certainly not.  Privatisation of the health services and cuts to services for people with additional needs terrifies me so much so that I want to gather my family up and hide on a utopian island with no news.  Nothing, just us and some coconuts and maybe the Stanley Road album.

We, like the rest of the nation watched in horror as last nights events unfolded in London.  I continued to watch on through tired eyes in bed, feeling sick with thoughts racing about our upcoming trip to London.  I attended a fundraiser just a few hours later with armed police in attendance.  What on earth is the answer? I just don’t have it. So much more I could say…

So the upcoming election for each of us holds hope in many different avenues.  Don’t waste that vote. Look at the manifestos – look what works for you and yours but don’t do nothing.

On the 8th June I will be the voice of Reilly until he finds his own.