I write this one from room 11 on the Paediatric ward at Cramlington Hospital. On Friday night Reilly’s 14 year old brother rang me to say he’d injured himself running down a hill and could I go help him as he couldn’t stand. First time out in so long!

I put my coat on and drove straight to the country park near where we live. He was quite a way up and sat on the snow. I though he’d maybe twisted his knee. We eventually got to the bottom and to the car park by pulling him on 2 sledges (Thankyou lads) . He was freezing and a little in shock I think. Took a good 15/20 mins to get him to car. Now I couldn’t get him in. He couldn’t stand.

A lovely young couple who had been walking stopped to help. They fashioned a splint and helped me get him into the car (one foot out the window) and I drove straight to A & E. I still didn’t think it was broken at this point. I can’t thank that couple enough ❤️

Some incredible staff and an X-ray later we find out he has broken off the growth plate from his shin. The part the thigh tendons attach to so your leg can move. No wonder he couldn’t move it!

Half a cast for protection we came home and adapted the living room so he could be comfortable. It’s been hard work he’s bigger than me. We came in Sunday for a CT scan which confirmed it was bad and we were promptly booked in for surgery which is where I am now. That’s the back story now here’s the bit why I’m writing here.

Ellis is 14. He looks like a man. I forget he’s still a child. Sitting waiting for his anaesthesiologist watching him nervous and trying to calm and reassure him it hits me like a bus how vulnerable and young he still is despite his persona and appearance. He just floats by in life, disappears upstairs out the way as soon as he comes home, often frustrated at my lack of time and attention. We have fights, all teens and parents do but our house is a lot more chaotic than many.

I’ve held his hand and stroked his hair through the procedures which ultimately ends up with him fast sleep. And that’s it my job for the next few hours is done. I take my gown off and my lovely blue crocs and head for some chips feeling all the dejavu of handing him over at 8 weeks old for surgery on Christmas. 14 years later and it’s the same feeling. Doesn’t matter how old they get does it.

I’m so lucky that there’s nothing seriously wrong with Ellis, kudos to parents whose life is hospital appointments for their kids because I have no idea how you do it.

So I’m waiting for him to come back like a bag of nerves thinking about how we balance Reilly and Ellis but we’ll manage, we always do. I think some changes afoot for our household for the better ❤️ love him.

Outstanding from our NHS staff in such awful times. 💙