So I’ve been very quiet of late. If you follow the Facebook Page you will know that i’m currently recovering from COVID. For months now COVID has and still does terrifies me. I’m the lady who loses sleep at the thought of getting a cough due to Reilly’s very severe phobia of coughing. As many of you will know we aren’t allowed to be unwell but COVID has literally had me on my knees.
I suppose my biggest observation and its something that I should do more often is presume confidence. For months i’ve said to Shane what if I get it, you get it, we get it. I’ve imagined every worst scenario there is to imagine, that part comes very easily to a catastrophiser such as myself. Back to presuming competence. I didn’t think Reilly could cope with me being unwell. I have no doubt the coughing has refreshed some already big issues he had but to be honest if I had somewhere to stay he would have kicked me out in a second and cracked on as per usual without a second thought I think but he’s still cracking on getting into mischief and he has managed.
I tested positive on 22nd December, lovely timing for Christmas and schools breaking up. What started as aches and pains became debilitating headaches and exhaustion like i’ve never experienced. The night before my test I slept on our sofa as I couldn’t get up the stairs. Then came the cough. I will take any amount of suffering to myself but to know with every hint of a cough Reilly would get so horribly physically upset so I shut myself away. I looked for ways of easing it for him and plugged in the hoover beside my bed along with the hairdryer. If I felt a bout coming on I would set them away and drown out some of the harsh noise for him downstairs. He’d still hear it though.
A positive to come from the experience is that Reilly has spent a lot of time with Shane, sleeping with him, playing, fighting, watching Attenborough. I now see how horrendous it is for Shane while I am the centre of the attention most of the time, Reilly would look in the room on me and tell me Car, Go NOW and want me out the house. The 10 days isolation for the household certainly was challenging. You try and explain to Reilly why he can’t get on the X8 bus see how far you get.
Christmas day was a washout. Reilly went through his presents like a piranha and retreated straight back up the stairs and with no taste, smell or appetite dinner was a write-off. Silly me decided I would be fit for New Years Eve and that we would rearrange for then. How wrong could I be. 9th January now and I’m still exhausted. My cough is subsiding at last and I have my appetite back so on the mend but by no means fixed. Reilly hasn’t been back to school yet, to be honest I don’t have the energy to get him ready and get him there but we have decided he will go back on Monday. His sleeping is OFF! For the last week while craving sleep Reilly has put in around 3 hours per night. Now that my cough is subsiding he doesn’t leave my side and by christ its so hard.
This got me thinking. How on earth are you coping with covid and an autistic child? I am lucky in that I have my friends, buddys etc who are available to go to the shops, pick up prescriptions, there for a chat but what about those without it. I cannot begin to imagine. I’m struggling. Thank god if Reilly did have it he wasn’t ill like I was. Everyday we have done the do you feel sore encouraging him to point and make us aware if there was something off.
If you need someone to talk to, help with shopping, appointments etc please get in tough about our buddy system via the facebook page. We have people who are already helping those in need and we have room to help more. My mental health has taken as much of a beasting as my physical health, its so important we try and keep it all in check.
So back to school on Monday. I’ve seen a lot of conflicting views on SEND schools and parents being deemed as irresponsible for sending their kids in. PLEASE don’t judge. Every single one of our kids are different and they all have their own needs which as parents we will go to the ends of the earth to fulfill.
Back to recovering and can’t wait to have a few hours alone next week to just breathe and sleep.
Lots of love and a healthy New Year to you all xx